My Dear Teenage Daughter,
The letter may come as a surprise and I know it is just a little bit too late, but firstly it took me that much of time and courage to do the thinking, take up the pen and pen down my thoughts and feelings. Secondly, and most important it still has not dawned on me that you are no longer a child but a teenager.
I can still remember, as if it was only yesterday, that you would insist sitting on my lap in the morning, while I was reading the newspaper, with the bottle in your mouth and trying to understand what was happening in the world around you or you would insist on being swung while going on your usual walk in the evening inside the camp rather than sitting in your pram. It was only yesterday, you wanted to perch on my shoulders to get a bird’s eye view or it was just that you wanted to be taller than your father. Probably, these are the few things I might tell your children when I can no longer walk, sitting in my easy chair outside in the morning sun.
I have been harsh, sometimes strict and sometimes indifferent but probably in my mind I have not got used to your growing up. I still feel protective and wish that you do everything right. The over protectiveness is another name for love in the dictionary of parents. Love as I understand is creating an atmosphere, where each can flourish and achieve those things, which one can not achieve alone. Probably I wanted you to achieve those things, which you dream of, but find it just outside your reach. The over protectiveness comes here to shield you from the harms, ill effects and misdirected efforts so that you can guide your energy towards the important things which matter most to you rather than trivial issues.
In the coming years, you will be amazed to find out how little your father knows, you may be disappointed at times, heartbroken at others, at times frustrated, but it is a fact you will have to face it on day or the other. It is quite possible that you may not like what I like, or I may not like what you like most. You may find me embarrassing at times, when I cannot talk to your friends, the way you expect your father to. I might say no to you when other teenagers are permitted to do the same things. It is possible that you might find your father stupid, dumb, orthodox, mean and even hate me, but even in those moments you may wish to remember that I can risk to being called names because I love you and want the best for you , now and always.
Sometimes when I am in the depressed mood I might say , go ahead and do whatever you feel like, spoil your life, but what makes a father's task difficult is that he knows that there is no road or bridge while transiting from childhood to adulthood. There is no way I can hold your hand and help you cross the dividing line or barrier between childhood and adulthood. It is something you will have to do it yourself, all by your own, faces the problems, pick up the pebbles, remove the thorns, surmount the barriers and achieve your dreams. I can only give you moral support and may be some guidance but you will have to choose the path and walk alone, with he head held high and dreams in your eyes. Just remember that there are always dreams to be fulfilled, promises to be kept, goals to be achieved, rivers to be crossed, mountains to be climbed, contests to be won and happiness to be earned. But, all this cannot happen overnight and it is a very slow and gradual process and not an easy journey, even though you may wish it to be so. Your dreams are your own, your actions are yours and your life is to be lived the way you wish it to be lived. I can only advise and guide you. It is up to you to accept them or reject them, listen to them or close your ears, take them with a smile or with a frown, accept with humility or defiance.
You have always been a dreamer, a poet, a writer. You have always tried to find the rainbow at the end of a rainstorm. Just remember that happiness can not be given but it to be earned. It is not a station you arrive at but it is the way of traveling, it is not the end result but the manner of doing or achieving it. It is not a match to be won but the way of playing it rightly. Life is meant to be lived, enjoyed but not at somebody else cost. It is more fun if you enjoy it as your own. Just remember, when you cannot see with your eyes, sense it out with your senses then in the end go by your heart.
With all the best wishes in the world
Always your
Papa
The letter may come as a surprise and I know it is just a little bit too late, but firstly it took me that much of time and courage to do the thinking, take up the pen and pen down my thoughts and feelings. Secondly, and most important it still has not dawned on me that you are no longer a child but a teenager.
I can still remember, as if it was only yesterday, that you would insist sitting on my lap in the morning, while I was reading the newspaper, with the bottle in your mouth and trying to understand what was happening in the world around you or you would insist on being swung while going on your usual walk in the evening inside the camp rather than sitting in your pram. It was only yesterday, you wanted to perch on my shoulders to get a bird’s eye view or it was just that you wanted to be taller than your father. Probably, these are the few things I might tell your children when I can no longer walk, sitting in my easy chair outside in the morning sun.
I have been harsh, sometimes strict and sometimes indifferent but probably in my mind I have not got used to your growing up. I still feel protective and wish that you do everything right. The over protectiveness is another name for love in the dictionary of parents. Love as I understand is creating an atmosphere, where each can flourish and achieve those things, which one can not achieve alone. Probably I wanted you to achieve those things, which you dream of, but find it just outside your reach. The over protectiveness comes here to shield you from the harms, ill effects and misdirected efforts so that you can guide your energy towards the important things which matter most to you rather than trivial issues.
In the coming years, you will be amazed to find out how little your father knows, you may be disappointed at times, heartbroken at others, at times frustrated, but it is a fact you will have to face it on day or the other. It is quite possible that you may not like what I like, or I may not like what you like most. You may find me embarrassing at times, when I cannot talk to your friends, the way you expect your father to. I might say no to you when other teenagers are permitted to do the same things. It is possible that you might find your father stupid, dumb, orthodox, mean and even hate me, but even in those moments you may wish to remember that I can risk to being called names because I love you and want the best for you , now and always.
Sometimes when I am in the depressed mood I might say , go ahead and do whatever you feel like, spoil your life, but what makes a father's task difficult is that he knows that there is no road or bridge while transiting from childhood to adulthood. There is no way I can hold your hand and help you cross the dividing line or barrier between childhood and adulthood. It is something you will have to do it yourself, all by your own, faces the problems, pick up the pebbles, remove the thorns, surmount the barriers and achieve your dreams. I can only give you moral support and may be some guidance but you will have to choose the path and walk alone, with he head held high and dreams in your eyes. Just remember that there are always dreams to be fulfilled, promises to be kept, goals to be achieved, rivers to be crossed, mountains to be climbed, contests to be won and happiness to be earned. But, all this cannot happen overnight and it is a very slow and gradual process and not an easy journey, even though you may wish it to be so. Your dreams are your own, your actions are yours and your life is to be lived the way you wish it to be lived. I can only advise and guide you. It is up to you to accept them or reject them, listen to them or close your ears, take them with a smile or with a frown, accept with humility or defiance.
You have always been a dreamer, a poet, a writer. You have always tried to find the rainbow at the end of a rainstorm. Just remember that happiness can not be given but it to be earned. It is not a station you arrive at but it is the way of traveling, it is not the end result but the manner of doing or achieving it. It is not a match to be won but the way of playing it rightly. Life is meant to be lived, enjoyed but not at somebody else cost. It is more fun if you enjoy it as your own. Just remember, when you cannot see with your eyes, sense it out with your senses then in the end go by your heart.
With all the best wishes in the world
Always your
Papa
1 comment:
Touching, we all feel the same way about our children.
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